This entry was started Tuesday, July 7...finished Thursday, July 30. Guess I kept busy this month.98 days after stepping into the chemo room, Monday, July 6 I walked out of it, my last chemo treatment behind me!
I celebrated all day, beginning with my morning quiet time. I prayed about how I would mark this step in my journey and was excited when God showed me I was to celebrate communion....right there in the chemo room. Many times since I was diagnosed, I have visualized the healing blood of Jesus flowing through my veins. My friend Sarah had shared how she would pray that the His blood was surrounding every cell in her body, preparing the cancer cells to be destroyed by the chemo and protecting all of the other cells. I knew this was the perfect way to celebrate this divine healing power joining forces with the healing power of Taxol and the other drugs I'd be receiving.
I envisioned serving others in the room too so I brought a full gallon of grape juice, a bag of thimble sized glasses (our special Christmas eggnog glasses) and Hannah prepared bread that could be shared. Maybe I chickened out but once I got settled in the chemo room and saw none of my chemo acquaintances there, I felt like this was to be a private thing for me. I waited until the two hours of blood tests and chemo-prep drugs were finished and then got my grape juice and bread ready.
After Kenna was done hooking up the Taxol, I began my private communion celebration, cocooned in my chemo chair...a sweet and joyous time...
...until I tried to capture the moment with a photo. Balancing the large bottle of grape juice and a piece of bread on my laptop with my left hand, and positioning the camera with my right hand...well, that just wasn't a good idea. Your clear chemo-free mind probably already figured that out!
Grape juice spilled all over my lap, dripping onto the floor (fortunately not all over my keyboard, though the space bar is a bit stubborn now). With the laptop on my lap, and me hooked up to the chemo machine, I was pretty helpless to deal with it. I sacrificed my scarf to try to soak up some of the juice in my lap but was I really needed a beach towel. At this point the four other patients in my chemo circle noticed that something was up and one who wasn't hooked up helped wipe up the floor spill. So much for a quiet, personal time with God, but no doubt He was smiling anyway. And as much as I'd like to have a photo of my lap covered in the healing blood of Jesus, it just didn't seem like the right thing to do at the time.
Since my pants were soaked with grape juice, I called "Hart 911" and within ten minutes Dennis, Hannah and Hugh had arrived with a full change of clothes. Not sure why Dennis needed to put my underwear on the top of the clothes pile he carried in, but hey, the chemo room isn't geared for total privacy and dignity anyway. Hannah helped me get out from underneath my laptop and unplugged the the chemo drip pole so I could go change clothes. I still had three more hours of treatment to go so I was really thankful for fresh clothes. I bet there aren't many patients that are such clothes horses that they were two different outfits for their final chemo treatment!
The rest of my treatment was uneventful. When I was done, the staff presented me with a signed bottle of sparking cider and six hours after walking in, I walked out for the last time. Just like getting home from a long trip, the first thing I did was unpack my "chemo bag" -- the cool J. Crew bag full of snacks and things to entertain me that my sisters and brother gave me. Felt good.
We celebrated with a crab dinner on the deck and enjoyed the sparkling cider. Doesn't get much better!
As with all of the previous Taxol cycles, I felt great until noon on Wednesday. And then, like clockwork, the chemo fog rolled in, blanketing me in intense fatigue and fuzzy headedness. I could still function physically and mentally (going to the kids' first swimming lesson, sending them off to Kids Camp for the weekend, making a few meals and even a fresh raspberry pie), but everything seemed to take extra time and concerted effort. And naps were glorious events.
Friday at 5:00 p.m. -- as predicted -- the chemo fog lifted and though I was still sluggish, my head was clear and I felt like me again (maybe an 80-year-old version of me). Hannah and Hugh were gone from Friday noon to Monday evening at camp so Dennis and I had a quiet weekend together -- missing the kids but enjoying our adult meals and a house without TV on.
Saturday we drove an hour up into the foothills to be with our church cell group, enjoying a good meal, fellowship and fishing. Dennis caught a large rainbow trout that we brought home and baked Julia Child style, and enjoyed on the deck along with a beautiful sunset. Nice way to celebrate a blessed year and a blessed life.
This cup is the new covenant in my blood,
which is poured out for you.
Luke 22:20
"No one sews a patch of unshrunk cloth on an old garment,
for the patch will pull away from the garment, making the tear worse.
Neither do men pour new wine into old wineskins.
If they do, the skins will burst, the wine will run out and the wineskins will be ruined.
No, they pour new wine into new wineskins, and both are preserved."
While he was saying this, a ruler came and knelt before him and said,
"My daughter has just died.
But come and put your hand on her, and she will live."
Jesus got up and went with him, and so did his disciples.
Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years
Just then a woman who had been subject to bleeding for twelve years
came up behind him and touched the edge of his cloak.
She said to herself, "If I only touch his cloak, I will be healed."
Jesus turned and saw her.
"Take heart, daughter," he said, "your faith has healed you."
And the woman was healed from that moment.
When Jesus entered the ruler's house and saw the flute players and the noisy crowd,
he said, "Go away. The girl is not dead but asleep."
But they laughed at him.
After the crowd had been put outside,
he went in and took the girl by the hand, and she got up.
News of this spread through all that region.
Matthew 9:16-26
