Tatoos and Scars

No offense to those of you with cool tattoos, but personally, I've just never wanted one, even with my new Biker Babe scarf look. Didn't really want any more scars either.

But now I have both -- four new scars and four new tattoos. No photo sharing, just suffice it to say that my breast, chest and armpit have about 7 inches of scars from the lumpectomy done in January, the "re-do" done in February and the port implantation done in March...and now four freckle-sized black tattoo dots -- two on my cleavage and one on both sides of my rib cage. It took about two minutes to tattoo me but it hurt enough that I recommitted myself to a tattoo-free lifestyle.

The tattoos will be used to align the radiation machine so that it zaps exactly where it's supposed to and not where it's not. I'll start radiation after school starts -- Monday through Friday for six weeks, but only 15 minutes each time. The primary side effects I should expect are sunburned skin all over my breast, tenderness and tiredness (though my friends who've been through chemo and radiation tell me the fatigue from radiation is nothing compared with chemo...hope that's true for me).

Here are my scars and tattoos, all covered up, hidden from the world. Even my swim suit covers them, except the one under my arm pit.

Hidden or not, my scarves, bald head and thin eye brows signal to others that underneath these clothes are scars that tell a story. Women often ask me if I'm going through chemo and share a story about their victory over cancer or compliment me on how radiant I look. It's always an opportunity for me to share something encouraging about my journey and to acknowledge that Jesus is the reason I'm glowing and healthy and joyful.

As Stacy shared in Intercessory Prayer last week, it was Jesus' scars that God used to reach Thomas and others after his resurrection. It was his excruciating pain and suffering that bought our salvation, our rebirth.

We all have scars -- physical, emotional, relational. In spite of the pain that came with them, God uses them...if we allow Him to. My hope is that my scars will cause you to seek Him for yourself. And with God's grace, your scars will also become testimonies of healing and strength and peace.

Now Thomas (called Didymus), one of the Twelve,

was not with the disciples when Jesus came.

So the other disciples told him, "We have seen the Lord!"

But he said to them,

"Unless I see the nail marks in his hands

and put my finger where the nails were,

and put my hand into his side,

I will not believe it."

A week later his disciples were in the house again,

and Thomas was with them.

Though the doors were locked,

Jesus came and stood among them and said,

"Peace be with you!"

Then he said to Thomas,

"Put your finger here; see my hands.

Reach out your hand and put it into my side.

Stop doubting and believe."

Thomas said to him, "My Lord and my God!"

Then Jesus told him,

"Because you have seen me, you have believed;

blessed are those who have not seen and yet have believed."

Jesus did many other miraculous signs in the presence of his disciples,

which are not recorded in this book.

But these are written that you may believe

that Jesus is the Christ, the Son of God,

and that by believing you may have life in his name.

John 20:24-31